Jimmy G Remains in the League of Tom Brady’s Shadow

There is no doubt about it that Jimmy G is one of the best, most scouted, prospective boyfriends out there in the market for ladies right now.

However today we’re talking about his football career. According to Sportrac Jimmy Garoppolo in 2017 will be receiving $1.103 million guaranteed (Signing Bonus + $250k of 2015 base). After this upcoming season he becomes an unrestricted Free agent. The 25 year old has a super bowl championship under his belt, resulting in his new desire to want big money or want to start his own legacy elsewhere.

Jimmy G played the first 2 games of the season during Brady’s absence before hitting a little pothole setback and getting hurt. Jimmy Garropolini and pesto led the Patriots to win in both of these games with an overall QB rating of 85%.

Let’s compare his first 2 weeks this season to every QB that made the playoffs shall we? In my eyes the first 2 weeks are much more crucial in telling if you actually have a legitimate QB or not — due to 6 weeks of prior preparation and four preseason games. These numbers can help understand why the Patriots are interested in keeping Jimmy G on their roster.

Image result for qbr meme

  • Tom Brady N/A – Because Goodell is an ass clown
  • Matt Ryan – 122.05% – (unreal stats for fantasy nuts and blowing super bowl leads)
  • Aaron Rodgers – 82.9 % – (Decent for filming double check commercials between games)
  • Ben Roethlisberger  – 95.45% – (I won’t make any bathroom stall jokes)
  • Russell Wilson – 81.1 % (little low for playing dolphins and rams in the 1, 2 step of the season)
  • Matt Stafford – 100.75% (Better be this good for playing in domes the first 2 weeks)
  • Dak Prescott – 86.55% ( great rating for having an all pro running back)
  • Eli Manning – 107.2 % (Great qb rating to start the season but he’s still looking for his keys somewhere)
  • Alex Smith – 82.95 %(Great QB on a great team but will never advance as long as NE Reigns)
  • Brock Osweiler- 78.95% (biggest waste of money since … I don’t know name something and it’s worse than that)
  • Matt Moore – 91.2% (only played week 2, your guess is as good as mine)
  • Connor Cook – 106.75% (this is actually Derek Carr’s score because Connor Cook was just his substitute teacher everyone used to pick on)

Coach Bill is possibly thinking you keep this kid because he is a legitimate contender, wants to win and might just be the future QB of the patriots (in the next 3 years hopefully).  I smell a possible franchise-tag cooking over in Foxboro to keep him locked down, avoid free agency and maybe even help work out a big trade in the near future (which can still be done under the tag for longer potential deals)…

Celtics Beat Cleveland 103-99

Celtics get their biggest win of the year tonight, beating Cleveland by four and shrinking that lead in the Eastern Conference to three games. The Celtics played some of their best basketball and showed a national audience that they can play with Cleveland.

Boston and Cleveland played a tight game throughout. They traded leads the entire game, and it came down to clutch execution and coaching at the end. The Celtics came out on top in this one and got their first win against the Cavs this year, making their record against them 1-2.

Al Horford finished with 9 points, 10 rebounds, and 10 assists, and had a big impact defensively. Isaiah finished with 31 points, and Crowder had 17 points with 10 rebounds. Lebron had a monster game. He ended up with a triple-double with 28 points, 13, rebounds, and 10 assists, and Kyrie Irving put up 28 points.

In the second quarter, Richard Jefferson caught an alley-oop from Lebron, hung onto the rim and straddled the back of Terry Rozier’s head for some reason, so Rozier threw the ball at him and got T’d up. Cleveland was lobbying for calls all game like they always do, and I think they got so many foul calls because the refs were genuinely scared and nervous that Lebron was gonna be mean to them. Late in the second quarter, Lebron stepped on Olynyk’s shoe, rolled his ankle and the refs blew a whistle for a foul because Lebron fell down.

The Cavs were up 50-49 at the half, and the Celtics’ bench did a great job keeping up against Lebron with Isaiah on the bench. Kyrie Irving started the 3rd quarter 5 for 5, but got into some foul trouble and had to leave the game for the rest of the quarter with four fouls. The people at the Garden were all over the refs in the 3rd. The refs were looking for fouls to call on the Celtics.

Boston found themselves up by 3 at the end of the third, and it definitely felt like a playoff game at this point. There were six ties and ten lead changes in the fourth.

With two minutes left and down by 2, Isaiah drove towards the hoop, drew the entire defense towards him, and made a beautiful pass to Crowder on the wing where he hit a big 3. Cleveland scored to go back up by 1, and then Isaiah took over again. He took the ball with a little over a minute left and drove past Deron Williams, into the key, had everyone on the Cavs staring at him, and found a wide-open Avery Bradley on the wing for a huge 3.

Celts up by 2, Korver hits a huge 3 with 57 seconds left to go up by 1.

Brad Stevens takes a time-out and draws up a play for Isaiah to cycle around the floor, take the ball from Smart, and sink a DEEP three-pointer. Unbelievable shot.

The Cavs, down by 2, get the ball with 40 seconds to go. Kyrie Irving drives along the baseline, meets Horford at the rim, but pulls off an incredible reverse layup to tie the game at 99.

30 seconds to go, Isaiah draws a weak double team from Korver and Deron Williams. Korver backs off for some reason, and Isaiah blows right by Williams, who sucks. Isaiah stops at the free throw line, goes up, lets Williams bump him from behind for a foul, and nearly banks the shot in. He hits both free throws to put the Celts up by 2.

Cleveland takes possession and they get the ball to Irving on the wing. Avery Bradley shut him the fuck down. Irving couldn’t breathe, and he ended up throwing up a shot from the baseline, missing. Tristan Thompson grabbed the offensive board, and threw it out to Lebron. Lebron couldn’t get a shot up with Crowder and Isaiah all over him, but he found a wide open Deron Williams in the corner. Williams had a great look at a 3 but it rimmed out and Crowder grabbed the rebound to end the game.

Final score was 103-99. If the Celtics play their best game, they can compete with Cleveland. It will be a tougher game when the Cavs get Kevin Love back, but I wouldn’t count the Celtics out against a team that is so top-heavy and reliant on three players.

*Full game recap*    

Bruins Add Drew Stafford at the Deadline

The Bruins traded a conditional 6th round pick at the deadline to Winnipeg for Forward Drew Stafford. Love it, fuck that pick.

Stafford has been with Winnipeg the past three seasons, but Bruins fans remember him when he played for Buffalo from ‘06 to ‘15. Stafford’s been a solid player when healthy, so this trade makes sense. Why not add some depth for a playoff run?

Stafford played 78 games last season and put up 21 goals with 17 assists, but he’s only played 40 games this year and has 4 goals, 9 assists. If Stafford comes in and doesn’t do anything, at least he puts some pressure on guys like Jimmy Hayes.

Love the fact that Don Sweeney is stacking up at the deadline. The Bruins have been red hot as of late and this is a trade with no down side.  Boston got better today, and they kept all of their assets.

*Dangle Fest*

The Handsome Duckling

There once was a story that read:

There once was a homely little bird born in a barnyard who suffers abuse from the others around him until, much to his delight (and to the surprise of others), he matures into a beautiful Swan, the most beautiful bird of all.

This is the story of the ugly duckling.

I bring us back to this childhood throwback because God’s greatest gift “Tom Brady” has been receiving some backlash about his high school year book photo, some saying he was an ugly duckling….

Let’s all break this picture down together.


  1. Tom’s hair is the definition of perfection. This hair just lets you know what he’s all about. I’m mean, rugged, and down to earth, play a few video games, like scary movies and woke up 15 minutes ago.
  1. The poker stare. Tom has been perfecting his game face since the beginning of time, gotta look serious to be taken seriously,

p.s. the girls at Brady’s alma mater, Junipero Serra High School in San Mateo, Calif are still drooling over this., guarantee it.

  1. Although you can’t really see the shirt you can tell by the off-colored collar, open chested, that he was destined to be with a super model and be the face of uggs.


To conclude,

Throughout deflate-gate and this this season Tom was still feeling doubted by all the other swans. However after his 5th super bowl victory Tom was shocked to see that the other swans welcomed and accepted him, only to realize by looking at his reflection in the Lombardi Trophy that he has grown into one of the greatest legends of all time. The flock takes to the air, and the now beautiful swan spreads his gorgeous large wings and takes flight with the rest of his new kind family.



Bruins Hammer Coyotes at Home

-Donny The Bruins continued on their hot streak, beating Arizona tonight 4-1 at home. Coming into the game with 70 points and sitting on the edge of the third seed in the Atlantic Division, Boston took care of business at the Garden, comfortably handling a horrible Arizona Coyotes team. On a night where fallen state […]


The Bruins continued on their hot streak, beating Arizona tonight 4-1 at home. Coming into the game with 70 points and sitting on the edge of the third seed in the Atlantic Division, Boston took care of business at the Garden, comfortably handling a horrible Arizona Coyotes team.

On a night where fallen state trooper Officer Clardy was honored, the B’s took control of the momentum of the game right from the start. About three minutes in, Colin Miller netted a wrist shot that slid low across the ice through the legs of Arizona’s goalie Mike Smith. David Pastrnak set him up in the slot on a beautiful pass and Boston took a quick 1-0 lead.

Boston controlled the tempo throughout the first, and carried that into the second until some sloppy defense and a boneheaded maneuver by Rask created an opportunity for the Coyotes to tie the game. Arizona brought the puck into the zone, and Peter Holland found a loose puck at his feet heading towards the net. He held onto it, let Rask over-pursue, and wrapped it around into the net, tying it at 1.

Twenty seconds later, Colin Miller stepped up on a suicide pass on Arizona’s blue line and fucking leveled Alexander Burmistrov. Burmistrov never saw him, and Colin Miller made a great, legal check, but the refs tossed him because at the time, everyone thought Colin Miller just killed a guy. They wheeled Burmistrov off on a stretcher and brought him to a hospital, great hit.

Adding insult to injury, Riley Nash potted a shorthanded goal for his fourth of the season. Bergeron stole one in the offensive zone, found Nash wide the fuck open in the slot, and he snapped it past Arizona’s shitty goalie. Bruins up 2-1.

About two minutes left in the second, the Bergeron, Marchand, Backes Line produced a goal and put Boston up 3-1. Backes got credit for the goal, putting it past Smith from the top of the circle off a pass from Marchand. Then with ten seconds left in the period, Marchand took advantage of some sloppy work from the Coyotes, stole a loose puck, flew towards the net, and wrapped one around and in. He is an elite offensive talent, and he killed it tonight, collecting a goal and an assist. So the Bruins go up 4-1 and the game is over because literally, nothing happened in the third period.

Boston has won 7 of their last 8, and they look good. Rask stopped 22 of 23 shots. Winning games at home against awful teams is essential. They could have been sharper handling the puck at times, but if they keep scoring and playing with a high intensity, they will make the playoffs and give Bruins fans something to get excited about in March and April.

*Full Game Recap*

The Pats Don’t Need Dont’a Hightower

-Donny Right now, Dont’a Hightower is on his way to the New England Patriots Hall of fame. He is one of the most clutch, big time playmakers in Patriots history and he’s only 26 years old. The Patriots should sign him to a big deal, but they don’t need to. They should either give him […]


Right now, Dont’a Hightower is on his way to the New England Patriots Hall of fame. He is one of the most clutch, big time playmakers in Patriots history and he’s only 26 years old. The Patriots should sign him to a big deal, but they don’t need to. They should either give him the franchise tag or agree with him on an extension, but they don’t need to. The tag would be upwards of 14 million dollars. Is he worth it?


Flash back to Super Bowl 49 against Seattle. The game’s winding down and Jermaine Kearse makes that miracle catch on the sideline at the Patriots 5. This set up the iconic 1st and goal for the Seahawks, where Malcolm Butler eventually makes the interception of the decade, winning it for New England. But on the play before that, Dont’a Hightower made the other play of the game by stopping Marshawn Lynch at the 1 yard line to keep the Pats alive. Plays like that are made by guys who are world class, elite NFL football players.

Check It out


Noone’s gonna forget the play he made in the Falcons game either. Down 28-12 in the fourth quarter, he sped off the edge and fucking murdered Matt Ryan. Sacked the shit out of him, forced a fumble, and got the ball back in Brady’s hands. One of the biggest plays in Patriots’ history.

Stripped like Bacon

Hightower is a great player with a bright future, and a legit superstar in the making. He’s one of the best young players in this league, and he’s one of the staples of the Pats’ defense. Hightower is a beast and he’s gonna get paid one way or another. Taking a look at the highest paid linebackers in the NFL, I think Hightower has an argument to be in the top 5.


  1. Von Miller $19M
  2. Chandler Jones $16.9M
  3. Justin Houston $16.8M
  4. Clay Matthews $13.2
  5. Jamie Collins $12.5

If the Patriots and Dont’a Hightower can’t agree on a number and Hightower becomes an unrestricted free agent, then the Pats lose a key member of their super bowl winning defense. So does Belichick pay him? Focusing on the defense, here’s a quick look at some significant salaries:


  1. Devin Mccourty $10.9M
  2. Patrick Chung $5.4M
  3. Shea McClellin $3.1M
  4. Rob Ninkovich $2.25M
  5. Malcolm Brown $2M


Everyone else on defense has a cap hit under 2 million for next year. Logan Ryan, Duron Harmon, Alan Branch, Chris Long, and Jabaal Sheard are also unrestricted free agents, and Malcolm Butler is restricted. Assuming Butler re-signs for big money, you could still look at the Patriots’ financial situation and agree that Hightower is worth re-signing.


If there’s any downside to Dont’a Hightower as a player, it’s staying on the field. He’s only been healthy enough to play 16 games once in his career, and that was in 2013. If Hightower wants more than what Jamie Collins just signed for in Cleveland, fuck him. Let him go get paid somewhere else and lose. Belichick got rid of Chandler Jones and Jamie Collins for nothing and then we won a Super Bowl. Two major players on our defense, and it didn’t matter. They will replace Dont’a Hightower and keep winning super bowls with Tom Brady. We do it all the time.


Malcolm Butler and Logan Ryan need to get paid, and we need to keep cap room for players like Trey Flowers and Malcolm Brown. Elandon Roberts can take on a bigger role next year, and we can improve at linebacker through the draft. Convincing Hightower to take less money is what Belichick will try to do, and I hope it works.