So your bracket is a house fire.

So your bracket turned out to be a flammable bag of shit tucked between the couch cushions that a disgruntled ex-girlfriend left for you?


Therein lies the beauty of March Madness, it is no fluke Caesar was betrayed and killed by those around him, it is not by happenstance our friend Julius was warned by the soothsayer to “beware the Ides of March.” Kansas, Duke, Louisville, UCLA, and Florida all wished they had a soothsayer of their own. Villanova certainly did not because a man like Jay Wright, with ice in his veins, probably knew it was coming and has already prepared for his return to glory in the following winter.

– that is how cold blooded killers react to winning on a buzzer beater on the biggest basketball stage

March Madness is best when our brackets are at their worst, when the Dukes of the world lose and the middle tier teams, the University of Rhode Island, George Mason’s and Appalachian States of the world in no name conferences make their runs at the crown. Watching the habitual gamblers lose to the blonde ditz in your office who “picked that team with the funny name because she didn’t like the colors of another mascot” is what makes this month great. Seeing the Dave Portnoy’s of the world or the douchebag cube monkey from high school throw a two weeks’ pay check on Notre Dame because “fighting IRISH bro they’re fuckn dope kehd they drop threes I saw a YouTube video where they killed it” lose and pull their hair out is almost as satisfying as watching your team win and it provides minor comfort when both of you lose.

Beware the ides of March has never meant more than they do during March Madness. Without the upsets there is little to be excited about. The NCAA sudden death tournament provides the highs and lows of deformed and twisted marriage but with beer and money instead of child care and lawsuits. It’s great. Your favorite team could be running high coming into the tournament with plenty to be confident about and then BOOM, your dead, your mothers dead, your brothers dead and Walder Frey is Lord of River Run and your stuck with Jon Snow knowing nothing about college basketball.

We all limp out of March Madness, some with money, others with damaged pride. Two things are certain; The NCAA is the premier basketball forum in the world for the month of March and that we all will come back in February with our brackets in hand and superstition in our head vowing to never make the same mistakes we’ve made in the past, we know nothing.


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