BC State of the Union

Code fucking maroon.

All our relevant teams are done for the year.

Lets wind the clocks back a few years. These Wake Forest, Clemson Tigers, Duke Blue Devils and UNC Tar Heels wouldn’t dare cross any of you….I mean, what happened? Did your balls drop off? You see, a guy like me….look, listen, I know why BC chooses to have their “group therapy” sessions at Chipotle in broad daylight. I know why you’re afraid to leave the Heights for away games.

We played in the greatest basketball conference in America, shit the Big East Basketball Tournament has its own 30 for 30, and we created the modern day sports network program catapulting that small sports trailer park company out of Connecticut to stardom. With increased media attention and the money rolling in, Boston College decided the real money was to be made using the Football program and the best way to capitalize on Football as a North Eastern School is the ACC…..should we have ever left the Big East……that’s a blog for another day. However If you’re good at something….never do it for free.

Image result for the joker dark knight grenade scene

….You either die the hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain and that is just what BC did by leaving the Big East for the ACC. We were the #1 Ranked Football team in America lead by Matty Ice moving and shaking up the football world as he prepped for MVP caliber years in the NFL. We had a thriving basketball program with the likes of Troy Bell, Ryan Sydney, Craig Smith, Jared Dudley, and Tyrese Rice. Men’s basketball coach Al Skinner had the Men’s Wearhouse commercial game ON LOCK, he had the hottest recruiting staff in the game pulling no name recruits out of California (Jared Dudley, Craig Smith) and was cuckolding the entire ACC. We had the cover of Sports Illustrated, we had the Heisman candidate, and as always, we have the Hockey National Championship and countless Bean Pots to boot. It was perfect……Image result for craig smith cover of sports illustrated


….out goes the BC basketball recruiting team for better paying positions at Northeastern…..out goes any future recruits to the program….it was not long before Al Skinner was dumped and the program was in the rebuilding stages under another coach…Steve Donahue. I should have known from the day that fuck signed the under armor contract for the team, leaving Addidas/Reebok that things were about to get worse. With Under Armor came a class of stiff white basketball players that brought shame to the bounce pass and mid-range jumper like no other, I never knew a finger roll could look so damn bad. BC ran the flex offense to perfection, it was tight in the key and confused the defense and yet…this fucker decided to throw that game plan out the window for….(insert nothing here) .I never imagined that the highlight of a basketball career could be team dinners the very same year the entire team gets food poisoning from FUCKING CHIPOTLE.

A few years of basketball knowing full well I could throw on some shorts and snap away basketball pants and nobody NOBODY would be able to tell I was drunk in the layup lines and that I was not actually on the basketball team is a damn embarrassment, it is not a testament to my skill level when drunk, it is a testament to the level of embarrassment the Eagles brought to Counte Forum. We have a new coach whos name I will learn when we win more than ten games in a season. The Eagles finished 9-23…..

Football….football has had a string of bad luck so bad not even the Flutie family has been able to salvage it. ( The Kennedy’s of BC) With coaching staff changes and superfluous bowl games, we no longer have Matt Ryan or Mathias Kiwanuka who both went on to have successful NFL careers to save us now. Coaching changes and mass injuries throughout the depth charts on the offensive side of the ball have left the BC football program crippled year after year. We had the #1 ranked defense in America but could not manage to throw 6’s into the end zone or kick the skin through the uprights. I had never felt lower than when BC played Notre Dame IN FENWAY and it was picked as a NOTRE DAME HOME FUCKING GAME, HOMMMMME FUCKING GAME. BOSTON COLLEGE plays in Fenway and we are treated as the away team, there was not even BC FUCKING MERCHANDISE, the least this money grubbing fucking College could do is capitalize on retail sales as we lose 19-16 in what was a surprisingly good game. My father “The Don” a BC season ticket holder and a college treasure of BC refused to go to the game because he knew all proceeds went to the Evil Irish. This level of deceit and betrayal is on par with Dennis Clifford Chipotle fiasco of 2016, it was a low I never wanted to feel again…..

Hockey…BC hockey is always the shinning glimmer of hope, year after year we win national championships, Bean Pots and anything else, shit we might as well be in the Olympics again. Not these Eagles though….we could not even muster a fucking Bean Pot this year, we are ranked 17th in the country as of March 6th ……17th…….17THHH, how the fuck does that happen. I feel like Jon Snow getting stabbed 8 times by the men of the watch and the season ends….boom honey look im flying ahhh im dead. Stab after stab, betrayal after betrayal BC sinks lower and lower….the only glimmer of hope is Kristie fucking Mewis and even she got snubbed from the Olympic women’s Soccer team….Image result for kristie mewis olympics

I won’t even mention how BC sports has been incapable of returning the Orange Eagle back to its rightful place atop the Heights ( http://www.nunesmagician.com/orange-eagle-trophy-boston-college-syracuse )


Alas…..the night is darkest just before the dawn, There is hope in men, and I believe the Heights will return to glory and days of future past will not be a fluke, we will soon rise to the top ranks of our respected sports and light our darkest hour.


Image result for kristie mewiskeep keepin on Hanson’s finest.



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